If you trust someone…


I’ve often heard many successful people saying “trust no one!” and in my earlier years, I often felt that it was a bit extreme to offer such advice to anyone. I used to think to myself  “How on earth can one go through life with no one to trust? I mean we all need someone to trust right?”

Now in my late thirties, in other words I have had enough personal and professional experiences to lead me to draw my own conclusions where the aforementioned issue is concerned, I can effectively say that in our world today, not only is it safer to “trust no one” but it’s even more important to trust yourself.

The media is inundated with story after story of rich, famous and/or successful people who are betrayed, used and abused almost always by the people closest to them. Whenever I hear stories of infidelity or stories about a famous person going through a separation or divorce, the other woman (or man) is usually a best friend, a sibling, the nanny or someone trusted who was very close to the couple. And it hurts even more when the cheating spouse not only takes your money, but also goes on to marry your best friend whom he cheated on you with.

As a writer, I do a lot of reading and reflecting and I don’t have much time to watch TV but one thing I always make time to watch is true stories, especially crime investigation and solved mysteries! Well perhaps maybe that’s because I’m a novelist who often has to kill characters in my novels! But the real reason why I watch true stories of solved murders such as dateline and crime investigation is because it often reminds me how important it is to trust no one, trust myself (listen to my gut, my instincts) and to keep a close eye on those closest to me!

Have you noticed how in the aforementioned crime investigation series and solved mysteries, in the end, when the perpetrator is discovered, he or she almost always ends up being someone close to the victim? The wife who murders the husband or vice-versa in order to cash that insurance check (sometimes in amounts that are ridiculously insignificant), the trusted uncle or family friend who molests the child he finds himself alone with, domestic abuse, murders within families to maintain dark secrets, etc.,…the list is endless. But there’s one common denominator in all these cases – it is almost, always someone who is close to the victim.

I often sympathize with highly successful people who also happen to be wealthy, powerful and/or famous, not only because it takes a lot of hard work, sacrifices and dedication to get there, but also because of the “nightmares”, the disloyalty, the abuse, that they have to endure from family and friends. From the mother who writes a tell-all book about her famous daughter to the family members who go all out to cash in on a sibling’s or daughter’s fame (or son’s fame),…I believe what all these events teach is that it really is important to trust no one.

When I was a teenager and in my early twenties, I was always encouraged to tell people my plans, my goals, my dreams, my aspirations! What I learnt from my early experiences of letting the “world” know what I wanted or intended to achieve is that it’s a very, very bad idea to trust people nowadays. People close to me stole my ideas and implemented them. People who were jealous of me worked hard to sabotage my plans and block me from moving towards my goals. People used information I had entrusted to them in confidence to advance themselves and at the same time try to destroy me. And most of the aforementioned people were those closest to me!

As I entered my thirties, I finally began to understand why I often hear successful people saying trust no one BUT YOURSELF!

Copyright©matildembulo. All rights reserved



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