Life has a way of making simple things complicated

Or is it we who complicate things?


When she loved him

He did not love her back


He did not ask her out on a date

Visit her at her house

Hold her hand

Sit next to her

He didn’t even hold a decent conversation with her


He made no effort to be with her

He did not protect her when she was vulnerable

Instead he kept himself at a safe distance away

He treated her like a familiar stranger

Who needed to be kept at arm’s length?


They saw each other almost every day

He witnessed her challenges first hand

He watched her suffer

He was in a position to help her

Not that he was required to

But she kinda secretly hoped he would step in

And be her knight in shining amour


But he did not

So she became determined to make it on her own anyway


Time has gone by

She hasn’t  made it on her own

She’s still struggling with the same challenges

Even though she walked away thinking

“Who the hell does he think he is? I’m gonna make it on my own. I’ll show him!”


But then that is beside the point


The point is

When she loved him

He did not love her back


She waited in vain for him to make his move

At the time she convinced herself that he loved her

If he did, she will probably never know

Because she believes that if he did not make his move back then

Then it’s simply because he was just not that into her

She is not looking at the other factors that were at play

She is hurt, and her tears have formed a curtain in front of her eyes


The point here is

That at this point in time

She is afarid of holding on to fantasies

If he didn’t love her back then

And his actions made that more than obvious

At least that is what she believes

That if he didn’t love her when she was right there within his grasp

Then he cannot possibly love her now that she has been away for so long


She is so unbelievably near

Hiding in a place that he least expects

The fact that she is hiding says it all

She is convincing herself that she’s hiding from him

But the truth is – she’s hiding from her own feelings


Because she’s in love

And it tortures her day in, day out

She moved away; couldn’t go too far though

Hoping that the distance would kill those feelings burning inside her

She threw herself into her work

She dated; she tried to fall in love again

She did everything she possibly could to forget him

To move on


But as she has come to discover

Once it’s got you

It’s got you!


Thus the point is

That all her efforts have been fruitless

And now she’s stuck in a limbo

She wants desperately to move forward but her heart won’t allow it

She refuses to go back because her pride won’t allow it

And maybe adding to her pride is her ego, fears and uncertainties

Maybe she just needs a Hail Mary

Copyright©matildembulo. All rights reserved

Alexia is a young lady who has just moved into a tiny rented apartment on the twelfth floor of an impoverished neighbourhood! One fateful night, following a break-in, Alexia, her neighbour Dana Handles, as well as Dana’s seven years old daughter, all disappear into thin air without trace! Later the same night, Dana’s husband Dean Handles also goes missing. The gripping story of the mysterious disappearance of the entire Handles family and their neighbour is reported on national television and ‘everyone’ seems eager to uncover the mystery and find out the truth. However, someone, somewhere, is determined to do everything within their power to ensure that the truth is never discovered. But who is so desperate as to take an action so drastic and why?

Novel! Available on:

Copyright©matildembulo. All rights reserved

Matilde Mbulo


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