A headache all night long

She tosses and turns on her bed

She takes painkiller after painkiller

But sleep refuses to visit her tonight


She is  awake all night

The noise from the church downstairs is unbearable

She loves the fantastic songs

The sound of Africa at its best

“God must be in this building tonight.” she says to herself

“Listening with pride to his servants praising”


But she is upstairs in her room

Tossing and turning on her bed

The headache becoming worse by the minute

Worsened by her restlessness


Unable to bear it any longer

She unlocks and opens the door of her tiny room

And is welcomed by the booming sound

Of the Church singing downstairs


She peeps across the corridor to the other rooms

All the lights are off

Everyone is downstairs in Church


If only today, just for today, they would stop

She wants them to stop singing so loudly and joyfully

What is there to be happy about anyway?


He is downstairs in church

She is almost sure he is there

Dancing, praising and praying as usual


She wonders what he is praying for tonight

She is upstairs in her room heartbroken

If only they would stop with all the joyful singing

What is there to be happy about anyway?


She is almost sure he is down there dancing his way from pew to pew

Oh what a good performer he is

When he grooves, the ladies always blush

It kills her to see him move like that to church music


But it’s been a while since She has been to church

Still, she is almost sure he is downstairs singing and dancing

And she is  almost sure the other woman is there as well


The other woman? Should she refer to his lady as the other woman?

She lifts her face up to the ceiling as if expecting an answer

She paces up and down inside the room

And then breaks down again into tears


She sobs for a while

And then her sadness turns into frustration 

“Dear God,

Here I am upstairs, locked up in my tiny room

Tossing, turning and crying

If only they would stop singing so I can sleep, Oh Lord

If only they would be quiet so I can have peace of mind

It’s already past midnight, God, It’s long past midnight

Yet the singing is only getting louder and louder”


Couldn’t he have chosen another venue to have his all night service?

Couldn’t he have moved his church to give her peace of mind?

Does she have to listen to him all night while she is heartbroken?

Tossing, turning and crying alone between her sheets?

While he sings happy songs all night long in the other woman’s company?


It is 3 am in the morning

And the noise has finally died down

She hears the cars leaving the compound

And suddenly she forgets about her throbbing headache


She sits up on her bed and peeps discreetly out the window

Carefully watching car after car as each exit through the huge gate

She is humbled by the numerous expensive cars and the snobby passengers

She has often felt the stab of their expensive daggers piercing through her skin from all directions

Humiliating her in every way possible

Ensuring that She understands in every language possible that she does not belong in their church

That she is not worthy of the attention that he gives her


She continues to peep anxiously yet discreetly

She is careful not to be seen by anyone

And ducks if anyone looks upstairs

But she is so curious that she keeps watching

Car after car after car

She wants to see his car leaving

She want to see if he is with the other woman


As the  last car leaves the compound

And the gate is finally closed

She is confused

She did not see him

She knows all his cars very well

She did not see any of his cars passing through that gate

She did not see him drive through that gate


She knows he loves church very much

She knows he wouldn’t miss it for the world

Why would he not show up to church

It is so unlike him

She knows she loves him

She fears she is too deeply in love with him

And she knows God made their paths cross for a reason

Yet she can’t help but wonder why her? Why him? Why the other woman?


“Why must I be stuck in this devil’s triangle?” she cries desperately


She has been consistently trying to remove herself from the situation

Because she believes that only two people can be truly in love with each other

Without a doubt she knows that she is the third person in that ugly triangle

When she came into the picture, he was already with the other woman

He had already paid lobola for the other woman

And he was already living with the other woman


So she knows that something is not right in that situation

She knows then that whatever is between herself and this man then is definitely not Godly

Because he has another woman at home

A woman everyone refers to as his wife


It is almost 6 am when she finally falls asleep

But it is just for an hour and then she is  awakened by a sound somewhere


As she tries to wake up

Her eyes suddenly fly wide open

Her headache is completely gone

Her body is in shock; She is now wide awake


He is standing just a few meters away from her bed

Right there inside her room

Staring at her…

Copyright©matildembulo. All rights reserved



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